{Fan Fic} When The Training Is Over

[breyzyyin.livejournal.com]

Username: Breyzy (of breyzyyin)
Class: Soldier
Title: When The Training Is Over
Summary: Reks finishes his military training and receives the orders for his first mission. Written for the airship_lounge prompt of "training"...I sort of went over the word limit though, so I'm posting it here instead.
Characters/Pairings: No pairings. Character focus is on Reks and Vaan primarily. Cameos by Penelo and Migelo.
Word count: 2,877 (my biggest fic yet! O_O)
Rating/warnings: G. This fic is set right before the part when you play as Reks in FFXII, so there's lots of alluding to his future here. Those familiar at all with his story or the game should know what that means, although there are no actual spoilers!
Legal Discalimer: I do not own FFXII or any FFXII characters! They are the rightful property of Square-Enix.

He opened the door to the room he shared with his brother, tired eyes scanning the beds and the meager possessions they had acquired for any sign of the other inhabitant. None. He had noted the shop seemed emptier than usual as well when he came in, Migelo quietly taking stock of inventory while one customer browsed by the counter.

While one was never able to feel truly alone in the hustle and bustle of everyday life in Rabanastre, Reks was surprised by how solitary his environment was today. He wasn't sure if he was grateful for the break or scared of the isolation...of the unwelcome thoughts that had slowly worked their way into his head on his way back from the training grounds.

Closing the door behind him, Reks took a moment to breathe as if that would magically release all the tension...all the fear. It didn't. Instead, it forced him to feel the paper within his grip: the orders for his first military assignment.

He had read over the words so often that he knew what the paper detailed by heart: it was simple, direct, to the point. He looked down at the orders. There was no lingering sentiment in them. They served no other purpose than to inform him about his first assignment. The wadded paper in his hand felt heavier than the sword at his belt that he had only recently acquired novice skill with.

...Had he meant to crinkle it up? No, he hadn't. It was a momentary impulse, a distraction from the numbing fear that had taken hold of him.

He placed the paper on the small table he and Vaan shared, along with the sword and scabbard he still didn't feel quite comfortable carrying.

The sounds of the street outside were muted through the window, but every now and then he could hear the cries of anger or the joys of laughter from Rabanastre. Still, it did little to make the nervousness subside...it reminded him how small and insignificant one could feel in the large city, as if his life was little more than part of the background noise for someone else's day.

Tiredly, he lay down on his bed, staring at the ceiling…willing himself to fall asleep and shut both the voices inside his own head and outside on the street out.

How many days had he done something similar? Why was it that today it felt like everything was overwhelming?

The door to the room burst open and shut again just as quickly: the out-of-breath gasps familiar to his ears. His brother had the habit of entering their room like this often. Reks pretended he didn't hear him, shutting his eyes.

He heard Vaan's footsteps get closer to the bed but then stop by the table...there was the sound of crinkling paper. Silence. This was also the moment Reks partially feared even though he knew it was bound to happen eventually. His assignment was tomorrow, after all.

Vaan didn't bother to ask if he was awake. He knew he was. They had only been sharing this room for years now...he knew all of the quirks Reks had just like Reks knew all of his. Instead, his younger brother moved to the window.

Reks opened his eyes and peered at his brother, trying to figure out what was going on inside his mind. Typically, he found Vaan easy to read: an easy-going, innocent, and friendly personality. People who didn't know Vaan didn't realize there was more under the surface, how the loss of their parents and the war made him put up a shield. Reks knew though. He had that shield as well--he had even used it more often than Vaan had in his young life in order to protect his little brother. Vaan knew that too.

His brother was staring out the window at the street below, the sunlight reflecting off of the sweat on his exposed arms.

He turned around when he noticed Reks watching him, tossing him an apple. "Here. Take it! I got it for you." Vaan said his next part almost too casually--as if he was trying to make it a conversational afterthought of sorts, "I figured you might be hungry. ...Your training is over, huh?"

Reks held the apple up to inspect it, knowing that Vaan wasn't referring to just the training he had had today but to the paper relaying his orders. Vaan always cut straight to the matter at hand, as if it was too much hard work to delve into subtleties. Reks admired that about his brother, was amazed that he was so straightforward and to the point. Still, his brother wasn't getting off that easy.

He sat up straight on the bed and looked over at Vaan as his brother bit into his own piece of fruit, "Vaan, where did you get the fruit from?"

A sheepish smile was all Reks needed to see to know that Vaan knew he was caught. Reks sighed, narrowing his eyes and trying his best to sound intimidating, "I haven't gotten paid yet from the army. You stole this fruit, didn't you?"

Vaan shrugged, "Look, the guy had a stand full of fruit! There's no way he's going to miss a couple apples. It would have all gone bad by the end of today anyways. I was saving him the trouble of throwing it away."

Reks shook his head, realizing that no matter what he did he was still incapable of curbing Vaan from his thrill-seeking ways. He tried, of course. But, he was not their parents. He couldn't bring himself to say "Look, Mom and Dad wouldn't want you to steal things!" ...That would be too painful for both of them, constantly being reminded about what was taken from them in the war. They already knew it everyday without having to say it out loud.

But, still, Reks was the older brother. He felt responsible for Vaan, as if it were up to him to protect his brother and make sure he would be all right.

He sighed again, getting up and walking over to his brother, looking down at the heads of the citizenry of Rabanastre as they went on with their everyday lives...biting the apple and feeling the crunch of it against his teeth, "I joined the army so you wouldn't feel like you had to steal things, Vaan. Just wait, okay? I promise when my pay comes we'll buy some good food together...enough for you and me--along with Penelo, Migelo, and everyone else. We'll make a whole day of it. ...Deal?"

Vaan readjusted himself so that he was staring out the window again next to his brother, but unlike Reks his eyes were to the sky.

Reks always wondered what his brother saw up there, as if the unattainable freedom from the pain in their lives was to only be found in the skies above...like it was the best treasure any pirate could grasp.

When he finally spoke, it was unguarded and so simply Vaan: "I know. ...You shouldn't be a soldier though, Reks."

There it was again, that anxiety that Reks had constantly in the back of his mind. He knew his brother was speaking the truth. Reks wasn't a soldier...even now with his training completed and his first mission scheduled for tomorrow, he felt like he was a child pretend playing at being one. He was only seventeen...much younger than many of the other recruits he had trained with, although he had also been with ones that were as young as Vaan.

Looking over his shoulder at his little brother, Reks knew in his heart that his joining the military wasn't just to provide them with financial support, but to protect Vaan. Reks would never allow his younger brother to serve in the army, so he did it in Vaan's place: to ensure that Vaan and other people in Rabanastre could have some kind of hopeful future. They had all lost so much because of the war...he didn't want it to happen again even if he could only play some small bit in helping to prevent that.

His little brother dreamed of freedom in the skies and Reks would never allow anyone or anything to take that dream from him.

He bit into the apple again and gave Vaan's shoulder what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze, knowing full well that Vaan was already aware of his insecurities. They knew each other's weaknesses, just like they knew their strengths. The two of them depended on each other as their only family left, so naturally they were close enough to know what the other was really thinking.

Vaan turned around to face Reks earnestly, with an imploring look in his eyes, "I mean it, Reks! You're too kind to be a soldier! You'll do something stupid and nice like show the enemy mercy because that's just the kind of person you are. You could get hurt!" he said it quietly, as if he was scared that Migelo could hear them from inside the shop, his partially gauntleted hand hitting Reks in the chest hard...like he could pound some sense into his brother that way, "What happens if you get killed, huh?"

After that, Vaan's hand fell to his side listlessly as if he had used all his energy hitting Reks. He drooped his head so that the older boy couldn't see his eyes. Reks stared down at his brother's blond hair, not surprised by the sudden outburst.

When he had told Vaan of his training to join the military, Vaan hadn't been pleased...the sudden reality of it going beyond training must have shocked Vaan more than he realized. Reks knew his own doubt and insecurities were mirrored somewhat in Vaan's concern for him.

The war had already taken their parents, but they had survived for this long by having each other...depending on one another. Vaan's free-spirited nature relied on the more calm and kind Reks for balance. They needed each other. They were both aware of the simple fact that they were all they had left.

Reks reached out and touched Vaan's shoulder again with his free hand, "Hey, c'mon now, this first mission will be simple. You'll see. I'll be back home before you know it."

He tried to smile when he said it, but knew that it probably came across as forced. He could hear that little tremor in his voice: the telltale sign that he was trying to hold back his fear. If he heard it, Vaan must have heard it too. His brother was good at picking up on things like that.

Vaan looked up, a forced smile to mirror his brother's already in place, "Yeah, you're right. You'll come home a war hero!"

Reks laughed, "More like one of the thousands of other soldiers who come home that nobody knows about."

Vaan didn't return the laughter, his eyes still serious. "I'd know though. I'll make sure everyone knows about my brother," he put his finger under his nose in his habitual easy-going pose, "And one day when I'm a famous Sky Pirate, you won't have to be a soldier anymore. I'll be the one taking care of the both of us!"

The smile Reks had in response was genuine this time, not forced. He looked out of the window and this time his gaze went straight to the sky his brother was so fond of. In that moment, he could feel the freedom his brother imagined.

"I'm holding you to that, you know. I want to see it: my baby brother, the Sky Pirate."

When he turned around to look at Vaan, his brother had a scowl on his face, "Quit talking like this is the last time you'll see me or something. Didn't you say this mission was going to be simple?"

The doubt hit him hard again with Vaan's words. Why did he feel like this mission was somehow more than just the simple routine one he had told his brother it was going to be?

The orders he had been given never indicated otherwise, but some inner-instinct told him it was more complicated than it appeared. Still, he just assumed it was mostly due to his nerves and this being his first assignment.

Vaan could see the hesitation on his face in that moment, however. He opened his mouth to say something when they heard pounding at the door of the room followed by a feminine voice screaming, "VAAN! Get out here right now! What is wrong with you?!?"

His brother instantly grimaced and Reks couldn't help but be perplexed despite this being an almost everyday occurrence for the two friends, "Vaan, why is Penelo screaming at you?" he asked, fearing he knew the answer already.

Vaan sighed, "Okay, so I maybe didn't grab apples for just you and me. Penelo was with me and I thought it would be rude not to get her and Migelo ones too. She sort of knew I didn't have any way to pay for them though, so she got mad when I handed her one. She, uh, kind of chased after me telling me that I had to give them back," he almost looked sheepish, except that he felt the need to yell the last part out in defense so that it could be heard through the closed door, "I was just trying to be nice!"

"That doesn't make it right, Vaan!" Penelo yelled back in retaliation.

Reks could hear Migelo try to gently appease the girl on the other side of the door and the pounding subsided. Vaan stared at the door with dread, the earlier conversation between him and his brother at the back of his mind.

Reks couldn't help but laugh a little to himself...finding it humorous how, despite him not always knowing what to say to Vaan about his pick-pocketing, his brother would inevitably get lectured on it anyways.

He looked at Vaan who shrugged his shoulders in defeat, "I guess I better go out there. I don't think Migelo's going to let this slide so easily. Penelo always has to make stuff like this such a big deal."

"She's just looking out for you," Reks said, biting again into the apple that was partially responsible for the situation, "You're right though. You should probably go talk to the two of them. I need to get some rest anyways."

Vaan was already making his way to the door, his hand on the knob, "I don't need her to watch out for me so much though. I already have you."

He stared at his brother, not sure of what to say to that. Vaan had turned his face around so that he could look the older boy directly in the eyes.

Reks took the opportunity to look his younger brother up and down...inspecting him, making sure he looked well and healthy. "When did he get so tall?" he thought to himself.

Vaan still looked like Vaan though: still young, still innocent. He imagined that was probably how Vaan viewed him too, the reason as to why Vaan was so against his being a soldier. They may have lost their parents in a war, but it was a war neither of them had anything to do with. "I really am like a child...play pretending at being a soldier." Reks thought to himself.

"You know," Vaan said to him as he opened the door of their room finally, "I'm lucky to have you as my brother."

With that, Vaan shut the door and Reks was left alone.

All of his doubts, insecurities, and mixed emotions swirling inside of him...the image of Vaan standing in front of the door etched into his memory, the last words he said repeating over-and-over again in his mind.

Why did it feel like they were saying good-bye? Why did it feel like that was the last time he'd truly see his brother?

He bit the apple he had lost interest in one more time before walking over to the trash bin in the room by the table and throwing what was left of it in. From the table, Reks picked up the crumpled piece of paper with the orders he had already memorized by heart and tossed it in after the remains of the apple.

The nervous feeling, like a premonition of something ill fated to come, swept over him again...this time, Reks didn't fight it as he laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. The busy streets of Rabanastre outside swayed together with the louder voices of Vaan, Penelo, and Migelo in the shop.

For the first time, Reks felt alone...and he was scared: for his future, for his brother's future.

Closing his eyes, he imagined the bright blue sky his brother loved so much, the pull of the freedom it promised.

"Your military training is over," he thought to himself, the imagined sky turning black as sleep came to him, "Tomorrow is your first assignment. Let's just see what tomorrow brings."

Reks could hear Vaan's voice in the distance as he drifted to sleep, his nervousness over his first assignment put to rest for the time being at least.