![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
mako-lies.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
moogle_workshop2011-07-29 09:59 am
(Heavy Burdens) and (Second Chance) [Fic]
![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif){kind=small}
mako_lies Class: White Mage
Title: Heavy Burdens
Summary: Tifa reflects on dreams and reality.
Characters: Tifa
Word count: 556
Rating: G
After she realizes that she’s been wiping the same spot of her counter for over ten minutes, she sets the rag aside. The bar is filled with the echoes of silence and there won’t be any patrons for a few hours at least. Denzel and Marlene are out playing—it’s one of Denzel’s good days—and Cloud’s probably wherever it is Cloud is on a daily basis.
A pang of something reverberates through her and she releases a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.
Edge is starting to come up around their ears, people eking out a living because while it’s hard, it’s easier than letting go. Some people had put as much distance between themselves and the ruins of Midgar as they could and Tifa understands that, understands the need to abandon the flinders of the past, but Midgar had become home through years of working and working and hoping and hoping, and she couldn’t leave it behind. Besides, the people needed someone to believe in, and it seemed it was expected of her because she had helped defeat Sephiroth.
That, and most people these days seem to need a drink.
Last week, Denzel had asked about their dreams: he’d wanted a cure for the Stigma; Marlene had wanted her back (oh, the memories that had brought on); and Tifa had had to think, and she finally decided on Cloud coming back.
It’s not a new wish—not really—even if it’s a little different now.
Back then, she’d wanted him to come back to rescue her, wanted him to fulfill some dream of grandness where she needed someone and there he was, wanted to experience the thrill of being meaningful enough to someone that they would risk it all for her. It had been terribly romantic, especially to a girl in backwater Nibelheim. Now, she needs him and he’s nowhere to be found.
Loss is a heavy burden to bear, and bearing it together is more than he seems able to comprehend.
Sometimes, she thinks the wrong person died. Aeris had this way of bringing people together, of seeing into their hearts and helping them to see what they needed. Tifa’s not like that. She’s good for a quick spar and a drink, but she can’t help Cloud in the way he needs help.
All she has to offer is a bar that still doesn’t feel like home and a bed that will never be his.
But still—she wishes he’d come back, because there’s so much of everything, because Denzel is dying and there’s nothing she can do about it, because she feels alone here, so alone, and she doesn’t want romance or to be rescued. Not this time. She just wants him here, with her, so that they can look after each other, so that they can help each other. Because they’re a family, whether he likes it or not. Except Cloud doesn’t want help—he just wants to suffer, and Tifa’s done with suffering, except she’s not because she has no choice in the matter.
Her loneliness isn’t what she chose for herself, it just came about when the jagged pieces of her life rearranged, and what can she do but keep pouring drinks? Because everyone needs a drink, sooner or later, whether or not anyone gets what they need.
Username:
mako_lies Class: White Mage
Title: Second Chance
Summary: This is what an empty house feels like. Spoilers for Chapter Six.
Characters: Sazh
Word count: 511
Rating: G
The house is empty in a way he doesn’t remember it being. It reminds him of the quiet that settled over the house after Elisabeth died, the omnipresent sorrow that had filled every crack in his being, except this time, the loss is more complete, the loneliness unshakable.
They’d taken Dajh from his clutching hands. They’d ignored his tears, ignored the fact that Dajh was his son, and taken Dajh away from everything he’d ever known. Sazh couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d given up his son for a chocobo and it didn’t help to know that if Elisabeth had been there, it wouldn’t have ever happened because his wife had been sharp as a tack and faster than lightning.
If he takes his habitual walk into Dajh’s room, it will be empty, he knows it will be empty, toys from three mornings ago still strewn about because getting Dajh to clean was like getting Elisabeth to cook—it just didn’t happen, except for in dire situations. His favorite stuffed chocobo will be there too. Sazh remembers—he’d promised to sew the eyes back on, but it just hadn’t happened and oh, he wishes it had, because how Dajh would have smiled to see Chirpy returned to past glory. (Will Dajh be able to sleep in a strange facility? Will he be able to sleep without Daddy to get him milk when he’s afraid of the monster under the bed? Will he be able to sleep without Chirpy guarding his dreams?)
At his side, the chocobo warks despondently, and Sazh can’t shake the feeling that it understands. A part of him, the part of him that’s a father, wants to reassure the tiny chick, but he can’t find the words, can’t find the hope.
“I’m Jihl Nabaat and I’ll look after your son,” she’d said, smile like ice. ‘To find his Focus’ still played through Sazh’s head, along with ‘hero’ and ‘Sanctum facility’ and ‘you should be proud, Mr. Katzroy’. But pride wasn’t what he felt—no, it was loss, like all other sorts of loss, except worse, because he was losing his son.
Sleep doesn’t come to him—Sazh merely reaches over and gently strokes the chick’s feathers until it quiets.
There’s nothing left to do except wait and hope he can see Dajh again, hope that his Focus is found so that—
But he can’t imagine his son as a monster, can’t imagine his life ended before he ever even had a chance to try much of anything, before—
Sazh stops that thought too. His Focus has to be found, and even if there’s nothing else he can do for Dajh anymore (can’t scare off monsters, or repair chocobo dolls, or rescue him from the Sanctum) he can be there the second they let him in, he can help find his Focus and make sure that Dajh gets another chance.
There’s silence in the house, except for his own breathing, but he supposes that’s just something he should just get accustomed to; Sazh puts his head in his hands.
no subject
I know I say that all the time, but it is TRUE!♥no subject
POINTS
~Haha...I think I've mentioned before how awesome your characterization and description is, yes? ♥ These two introspective pieces are absolutely amazing. I loved the depth and insight you gave to both Tifa and Sazh. The emotions that were prevalent throughout both were really touching and heartfelt, and the pieces were both incredible in that regard through. :D ♥
Re: POINTS