moogle_workshop | Stutter (Fanfiction)

Username:

naliarenegade
Class: Black Mage
Title: Stutter
Summary: Hope starts to have mature thoughts about Lightning.
Characters/Pairings: Hope/Lightning
Word count: 755
Rating/warnings: PG-13

Why do we try things we know won't work? Example: A kid asks his body-conscious mother for a cookie and she says no, so the kid keeps asking. Or a teen falls in love with a woman who doesn't want romance, who wants nothing more than to kick ass and take names, causing as much pain and destruction as she possibly can. Even in spite of this, he tries to win over the girl of his dreams.

We all know it's going to hurt when we don't succeed, so why do we even try? The kid knows he's going to be yelled at, maybe even grounded. The teen knows his crush will never reciprocate his feelings, so why do we try?

I end up asking myself this every time I see Light's back turned away from me in disinterest. I nearly give up every single time. Then I see Lightning smile. My heart does funny things then.

There is always the chance that her smile will turn towards me. That when she looks at me, it will be in fondness or camaraderie instead of exasperation.

That's why we try, I guess. Hope. Dreams. Desire.

It's not the same kind of desire that I feel when she undresses. It's not the same kind of desire such as when her hand brushes mine, the same hand that she uses to relieve her own stress when she thinks she's alone. It's not the same desire I feel watching her fight, her body twisting in unimaginable ways. It's not that same desire when I see her in my dreams at night. It's not the same as when I see her sleeping and if it weren't for the fact I know she's not sleeping, I would- I would what? Kiss her? Me, Hope, the kid she can barely stand?

Enough Hope! Just stop thinking! Just-

"Keep pulling at your hair like that and it will all fall out," Her voice makes me jump. I look up. When had she decided to let Fang take point? Shit. Gotta be more careful.

"Uh, Yeah. Thanks." Why do I act like such a stupid kid?

Lightning chuckles at me. Not laughs. She never just outright laughs. "Hope," she shakes her head. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing really. Just... thinking."

"About what? You seemed pretty frustrated." Yeah, I was frustrated. I was thinking about- about what? Doing... that with her? Woah...

"Uhh..."

"Hope," Lightning's voice took a little sharper tone. My failure to respond must have upset her. "If you don't want to talk about it, then-"

"No, it's not that!" Oh no! Hope, undo some of the damage you've caused. Hurry! "I was just... I guess I was just off in dreamland. It's easy to do that here. Pulse is... pretty." Really? Could I not find a better adjective? Pretty can't even begin to describe the full extent of my thoughts about Gran Pulse.

Lightning's face softens then, her voice quieting. "Yeah, guess it is. Almost as pretty as Bodhum... Maybe even moreso. I never really... thought about it."

I smile at that. Of course she hasn't. Lightning is always going too fast to just enjoy life. Life is here to be lived and enjoyed. Maybe that's a kiddish thought, too. But... If being an adult means that I lose sight of this, maybe I'll stay a kid just for a little longer.

Afterall, I just want her to smile. Maybe in time I'll want more, but for now? Just a smile. Someday I'll be brave enough to steal a kiss, before we all become Cie'th, but we still have a few more arrows to go. I have a little time.

"That's because you never just think about the things that really matter. Sure, saving Cocoon is important, but does it really have to occupy your thoughts all the time. You're always thinking about the future and what our next move is. I think that if everyone thought that way, no one would ever know. In chess, you need to know where you stand right then and there before you can predict what to do and how to win." I find myself laughing. What the hell am I saying? I'm 14. What have I got to say that she wants to hear?

"Thanks, Hope."

"For what?"

"Well, I come over here to try and make you feel better, but you end up trying to comfort me." She turns to face me and her ghost of a smile is almost gentle, "Thank you."

Ah, crap. My heart's doing funny things again.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I really like how you wrote Hope's perspective here. Great job! XD

Thank you! I really enjoyed writing this one. Have to thank Virago_Queen though. She was my beta for this one.

30 Points to Team Black Mage!

~A really well-written story. I liked reading Hope's perspective as he views his feelings for Lighting in this fic...you really realistically captured what would probably have been going through his mind during that conversation. Excellent job! ♥ :)

Stutter (Fanfiction)

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